Birth Trauma

Birth and pregnancy can be a time of mixed feelings, excitement, worry, and anticipation. When a woman’s birth leaves her with a sense of disappointment, guilt, anger, and sadness writes Maria Saunders of Restorative Birth Services.

This can lead to her feeling very alone, detached from others, and often with many questions left unanswered.

Your perception of your birth is “what matters most”

There are many reasons why birth trauma can occur, these may include not feeling listened to, poor communication, feeling alone, lack of continuity of care, and absence of a birth partner.

There is no one definitive way why birth trauma occurs, the key thing to remember is that your perception of your birth is “what matters most”. 

So often women may hear well-meaning things such as “you have a healthy baby” or “ Your birth wasn’t “that” bad'' or “well it's all over, now”.

These comments although said with a good intention may leave women not feeling heard. Their experience not feeling validated or their feelings being dismissed. 

Have you considered speaking to your friends or family about your experience, your GP, or public health nurse? It can be a little bit daunting speaking to others about your experience.

I would choose the person you share your experience with mindfully, with someone who you really feel comfortable and trust.

Because this is the first step in your healing and acknowledging your feelings.

A good place to start can just be meeting a trusted friend for a coffee in the park or speaking to your partner. You may be pleasantly surprised by the empathy you are shown or your partner might resonate with some of the challenges you are having or the feelings around your birth.

Speaking openly of this new experience of motherhood.

You may wish to share your feelings of sadness, disappointment or anger you may be experiencing. These are unique to you.

Alternatively just speaking openly of this new experience of motherhood. This can take courage and bravery but just remember that you deserve to have your feelings heard.

Birth trauma comes in different forms and women can experience it in different ways. Just remember though that post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following birth or a difficult related trauma is a very real, mental health challenge. 

Women may experience low mood also, however, there is a difference between Postnatal depression and birth trauma in how it is experienced and treated.

The symptoms of birth trauma can be very debilitating, these can include intrusive memories of the birth, nightmares, reduced confidence, disconnection from others, and can have a significant direct effect on personal relationships.

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About Restorative Birth Services

Maria Saunders is a Kildare-based midwife, public health nurse, GentleBirth instructor, and mother-of-two with one of the more surprising positive birth stories you’ll hear. For nearly the last decade and a half, she has supported over 200 pregnant and new mothers throughout various stages, from the delivery ward, in positive birth antenatal classes, and in their homes postnatally . She is the founder of Restorative Birth which offers a series of GentleBirth, Prenatal, Postnatal & Corporate Classes.

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