6 Top Tips for Birth Partners Care
Being a birth partner is such an important role, your job is to keep mum in a nice relaxed state, reduce all outside distractions for her and help her through any “wobbly” moments, writes Maria Saunders of Restorative Birth Services.
Create a lovely, relaxed environment at home, think romance. Candles, dim lighting, nice food, massage, run a warm bath, go for a walk. Watch your partner's favorite film, anything that makes her feel good will help to keep oxytocin levels high through labour, helping her to feel safe and relaxed.
#1. Improve Your Focus & Resilience
Know you and your partner’s birth preferences well, have a few copies (I have a free template you can download). Birth preferences are a communication tool to the care provider of your wishes for the different stages of labor, birth, and delivery.
This will really help you to support your partner to the best of your ability and advocate for her, be her voice and strength at times. Be a strong, confident, and calm birth partner.
Use the GentleBirth app yourself, as well as encouraging your partner. There are lots of brilliant tracks that will help you through the birth such as a confident birth partner, short mindfulness session of hypnosis, you will find there are ones you really like. Remember it takes a little bit of practice.
It will help you to manage the challenges of labor and parenting, improve your focus and resilience.
#2. Identify Signs of labour
SROM spontaneous rupture of membranes “waters breaking”,
Show a mucus plug released that can indicate cervical activity can be streaked with blood.
Surges or contractions can be irregular at first then get into more of a regular pattern, get your timer out strong, regular contractions coming every 5 minutes, (511) lasting for a minute over 1 hour, cramps or back pain. Remember there is one set way labor can start, for one lady it could be that she has cramps for 1 week, then starts to have contractions, a show, then her waters release. Another lady, a show her waters could go, surges start and begin to get in a more regular pattern. Then develop into a strong or regular pattern.
#3 Keep in touch with the hospital
Remember they are there to support you and guide you.
Mothers are also very aware when things are changing, or “when it is time to go”, I always tell couples stay at home safely until you feel you are getting to a stage when you are finding it harder to manage or if your instincts are telling you “it's time to go”.
#4. Pre-Travel Checklist
Take a picture of your partner at the door as you are leaving, then another when you come home with the baby.
Know in advance where the admissions office is & what floor the delivery ward is this will really help you to feel calm and oriented within the hospital.
Pack two separate bags for the hospital, one small one for the labour ward, (mums change of clothes, nappy and baby-grow, vest etc.).
Have the hospital bag and chart in the car.
Pack snacks and drinks for yourself, having the energy to help you best support your partner.
Surprise your partner with some of her favourite snacks or drinks, or maybe bring something that reminds her of a nice memory it could be adding music to a playlist ‘your first dance at your wedding” or a photo she loves.
In the days running up to your partner’s “due date” Make sure you have petrol in the car in advance, the last thing you need if having to stop at a Maxol on your way to your hospital!
When you arrive at the hospital, just bring the labor ward bag in. Leave the birth ball in the car, you can always pop out after you have got settled in the ward.
#5. You need to voice your thoughts about the birth
Having a friendly curiosity when you enter the hospital or with your midwife, a good question to remember is, “is my partner okay, and is my baby okay?”
There may be times during the birth where you may feel you need to voice your thoughts about the birth.
For example, a midwife might suggest, “let's examine you”. However, you know from your partner's birth preferences that 4 hourly examinations are preferable, however, it's just been 2 hours.
You can ask the question, “is my partner okay, and is my baby okay?” if all is well, then you might suggest we could wait a little while, maybe try the shower, go for a walk this might just be an extra 20 minutes or so.
But it will allow you and your partner to facilitate the natural tools for labor, minimize intervention and allow you space to make informed decisions.
Another good tip is if an intervention is being offered again ask “is my partner okay and is my baby okay?” If the answer is yes, you might again say could we just pop into the bathroom, the toilet can be a lovely private space for you and your partner.
Generally being upright, allows you time together, mum will generally have 2 or 3 contractions whilst there this again will help you to make informed decisions.
#6. A good Acromion to remember is BRAIN
Remember if medical intervention is suggested, is BRAIN, for example, labor slowing.
Benefits what are the benefits of this intervention?
Risks what are the risks of this intervention?
Alternative, could mum need to eat, drink, change position, try some alternatives such as a warm shower, acupressure techniques.
Intuition What is your intuition telling you?
Nothing, maybe by trying some other alternatives it might be best to do nothing, wait a little while.
Remember your question, “is my partner okay, and is my baby okay?” If you would like to discuss anything further, I would love to help you. I have an active birth partner package available.
“Remember how important you are and you will be an amazing birth partner and parent.
My most important tip is to enjoy all of the newborn snuggles, skin to skin is so wonderful for partners too.
Trust your own instincts when it comes to birth and pregnancy.
You can do it!
Best wishes to you and your partner”.
- Maria Saunders
